LOCK DOWN

Terrified. Definition: to fill with terror; make deeply afraid. That's how I felt today around 11:30am when my class was almost over and I was checking messages on my phone. Status updates of friends on Facebook let me know something had happened at the Middle School but that whatever threat it was, it was over now and everything (and everyone) was fine. I scrambled through my contacts, texting friends asking what had happened. Thankfully I was released from nursing class finally and could make a phone call to my long time friend since elementary school, Sonia. She filled me in on what everyone confirmed they had also heard: shortly after school began a phone call was made to the police department from someone in the community who had spotted 2 guys wearing trench coats or so it appeared carrying riffles (my mind went to Columbine and my blood ran cold) and they were seen on or near the football field on the campus of the Intermediate/Middle Schools walking towards the school. The schools locked down immediately; they do intruder drills regularly thank goodness and police were on the scene very quickly. Tyler told me this afternoon those drills usually last 5 minutes but after 30 minutes they were all questioning whether or not it was a drill or if they were under some real threat. He was in the band room at the time of lock down and he said they were locked in, covered the windows, and were in some utility closet for the duration. After the Code Red was over their band teacher checked her email and found out it was not a drill and told the kids as much but none of them knew what had happened to cause the lock down. Tyler said the rest of the day, they were on Code Yellow and police stayed at the doors. Nobody was found fitting the description of the 2 males on the campus and some people are saying it was probably a hoax but who knows for sure? I'm hoping we'll get more information and be enlightened because I still can't rest easy about it just yet....

On my drive home from classes about 2pm, I tried to talk to myself and I thanked God all the kids were safe and the teachers and police obviously did an incredible job in responding to the threat. I breathed in. I breathed out. For ten minutes I did this. Ten whole minutes, that's how long I made it before the tears spilled over and ran furiously down my cheeks! Not only was I relieved but I was still terrified. Terrified of the thoughts that I could not push out of my head, the scenes my mind's eye could not ignore, and my heart ripped open for the parents of kids caught up in the Columbines of the world. Unfathomable terror and pain. And more than anything, I simply thought of my little Tyler. I wondered where he was when this all went down, if he knew any details or if he assumed it a drill (he's smarter than that and way too perceptive) and I wondered what was going through his mind and his heart as he sat locked inside whatever room or closet he and his friends were sent to for "safety".

When I saw him get off the bus today, even knowing everything was fine, still my heart leaped for joy at the site of his big green eyes, soft blonde hair, skinny lil body. First thing out of his mouth was, "Did you hear what happened today??!!" He didn't know the details at all, just that there was some type of threat and he relived it all for me and I for him. Evan said they couldn't go outside to play at his school today so I'm glad they took precautions as well. I hugged them both up to me and kissed them, loved them, squeezed them, kissed them some more....you get the picture.

After Ev went to bed I asked Ty what happened during that time he and the others were in the utility closet...what did they talk about? Was anyone scared? Did anyone know what was happening? There was one thing I wanted to hear him say, I didn't ask, just got him talking about that hour and when they started realizing it wasn't a drill. He finally said, "And a lot of people were praying, to themselves and kinda out loud.....I was praying, too." We talked a little bit about God's protection and how I'm not always there to protect him and watch over him but God always has him. His reply? "I know." He's a man of few words.

We'll all get up tomorrow to face another day, to do the things we've got to do, trusting in God's protection and plan for our lives. I've blogged before about having to let go a little bit each day of my children and it tugs at my heartstrings each and every time they close the door to go into school or off with a friend around the corner out of my sight. After a day like today I am not looking forward to those car doors closing tomorrow morning! Another day, another prayer; Lord, watch over my babies and protect them and bring us all safely back under this roof when the day is done. Oh yeah, and help me to remain calm in the meantime. Amen.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,and the flame shall not consume you."

Isaiah 43:1-2